wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we're making bets on your personal life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize