I wish my penis had an off switch
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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