look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize