I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My nipple is on Facebook.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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