Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize