She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
