Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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