Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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