Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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