i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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