Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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