She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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