i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
