erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
ttyl tear gas
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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