I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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