So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
