I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
