Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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