im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
