i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
50% drunk capacity currently
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
