If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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