I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
