You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
