It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize