His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
