ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
