STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
