Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
