no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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