Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
