First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize