I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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