i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
