i jhust puked up my retainher.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
