I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
