I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
