Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
the liver wants what the liver wants
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
