I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
