I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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