i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
