white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
