I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
