I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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