i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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