Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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