Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
