My sheets look like a crime scene.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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