Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
