you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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