Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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