Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
