Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
