Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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