My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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