I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
