Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
