I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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