I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
