spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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