You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
